Divrei Vayishlach
Impact
“Now Dinah – the daughter of Leah, whom she had borne to Yaakov – went to look over the daughters of the land.” (Breishis 34:1) So begins the tragic story of the dishonoring of Dinah, which led to both the destruction of the metropolis of Shechem and to a protracted war between Yaakov and his family with both the native Canaanim and with the army of Nineveh, as described in a number of Midrashim. Certainly it is useful to examine the root causes of these events and to guard ourselves from repeating them.
Rashi cites the Midrash (Rabbah 80) which rhetorically asks: “’The daughter of Leah’ – and not the daughter of Yaakov? Rather, because Dinah by nature tended to go out, she is called ‘the daughter of Leah,’ for Leah also tended to go out, as it says, ‘And Leah went out to greet him [Yaakov] (30:16).’ With her in mind, the proverb ‘Like mother, like daughter’, was coined.”
Says Rabbi Aharon Kotler zt”l, the operating concept here is that every single action that we do, every feeling that we allow ourselves to experience, every thought we consider, and every opinion we take, makes an enormous impact upon us and upon our descendants. Our future actions, feelings, thoughts, and opinions, as well as theirs, are heavily influenced by what may seem at first as past events which are unconnected to them.
We are used to understanding this concept in terms of heirgel, of habit, but Leah was not habitually outward-bound; in this instance, she thought it necessary to inform Yaakov of a change in plans before he arrived home. Rather, every event and every experience, no matter how infrequent, molds to some extent a person’s essence, to the point that a person can be looked upon as the sum total of his past.
Says Rav Kotler: the most immediate, yet constant, example of this concept is the effect of a person’s environment. The Rambam (Hilchos Deos 6:1) states: “It is in the nature of a person to be drawn, in both his thoughts and in his actions, after his neighbors and his friends, acting like the ways of populace of his country. Therefore, a person needs to socialize with the righteous and always sit by the sages, in order that he may learn from their deeds. He must also distance himself from the evil ones, those who walk in darkness, in order that he does not learn from their deeds.” Notice that the Rambam specifies “their deeds” as opposed to the sages or the wicked themselves. The message is clear: we learn as much through passive or even unconscious osmosis as we do in a direct, textbook way. Seen in this light, a well-intended family vacation in a hotel packed with all the inappropriate goings-on that are normally found in such places can actually more than undo a full year’s worth of learning in the best yeshiva and Bais Yaakov. Every parent therefore is obligated to assess the potential damage which can come from placing his children in a non-Torah environment, even temporarily, weigh it against the benefits of that family trip, and adjust the plans accordingly, so that the bein hazmanim becomes an opportunity for aliyah, not yeridah.
Still, even though our free-will choices may not be as omnipresent as our surroundings, proportionately, they can make an even greater effect. One could ask, didn’t Yaakov also go out, at the beginning of Parshas Vayeitzay (28:10)? What more, he spent twenty years “out”! There is a difference, however. Leah’s action was based upon her own decision; she was not coerced. When Yaakov went out from his parents, he was fleeing to save his own life, so it did not have as great an impact upon him and upon his descendants.
All of this might seem familiar, until we realize that Dinah was not yet even conceived when Leah went out to Yaakov. Now we see that Leah’s one-time action molded her character into that of a “going-out” person, to the point that it was passed from her to Dinah, where its expression brought tragedy.
There is yet another level of this phenomenon, namely, its effect upon one’s children who may already be alive, but are not directly affected by one’s action. The MIdrash (Breishis Rabbah 71:5) tells us that “Leah grasped the trait of gratitude [when she declared ‘This time I will thank Hashem’ and named her fourth son Yehudah (Breishis 29:30)] and ‘masters of thankfulness’ came from her: Yehudah, who admitted, ‘She [Tamar] is more righteous than I’ (Breishis 38:26) (and thereby thanked her for not only showing that he had been wrong to keep her from his son Shelah, but also for bringing into fruition his decree that kings would issue from both of them -- see Rashi); Dovid, who repeatedly sang, “Give thanks to Hashem, for He is good!’ (Tehillim 106, 107, 138 etc); and Daniel, [who gratefully expressed his appreciation for Hashem’s having sent him both Nebuchadnezzar’s dream (which the king had not revealed) and its interpretation] and said, ‘To You, O Hashem of my forefathers, I give thanks and praise, for You have given me wisdom and might.’ (Daniel 2:23) In addition, Rachel, who was silent when Yaakov married her sister Leah, begat descendants who could also control their speech. Binyamin merited to have the letters yud-shin-peh-hay engraved upon his tribe’s stone on the Cohen Gadol’s breastplate, which spell out he words “Yaish peh – there is a mouth,” for Binyamin could have told Yaakov that his half-brothers had sold his one whole brother as a slave, but did not, because he saw that Hashem agreed to the sale. In addition, when Shaul’s uncle asked him what Shmuel HaNavi had told him, Saul only mentioned that “the lost donkeys have been found,” but he managed to stop there and not tell him that he was to be the first king of Israel. Centuries later, Esther was somehow able to conceal her identity from Achashveroush and his entire retinue.” The latter feat is comparable to a media superstar today somehow keeping his friends and neighbors utterly in the dark about his true identity, multiplied by a thousand. In other words, Chazal are telling us that Esther accomplished the near impossible.
Notice that Leah’s gratitude had the same effect upon the just-born Yehudah and the yet-unborn Dovid and Doniel. The strand that binds parent to child does not unravel with the child’s birth. Notice also that Leah “grasped” the trait of appreciation; Chazal consider this moment to be an innovation in service to Hashem, for no one to this time had made gratitude a focus of their worship. In other words, this one-time act of Leah’s had an enormous cosmic impact upon herself and her descendants, to the point that every time we bow and say Modim, it is an aftershock of Leah’s momentous move.
On the other hand, as
Nimrod and his peoples were busy building the Migdal Bavel, “Hashem descended to
look at the city and tower which the children of man had built.” (Breishis 11:5)
Rashi there rhetorically asks on the seemingly superfluous language, “But whose
children could they have been [aside from people? The children of donkeys or
camels?!? Rather, it refers to the children of Adom HaRishon, who showed himself
ungrateful when he said, ‘The woman whom You gave to be with me, she gave of the
fruit, and I ate. These people also were ungrateful, rebelling against the One
who had showered kindness upon them by rescuing them from the Mabul.” With that
statement and its underlying attitude, Adam paved the way for not only the
ingratitude of Bnei Moav and Ammon, whose decision not to remember Avraham’s
saving their progenitor Lot when his descendants were in need caused them to be
permanently barred from marrying into the Jewish nation, but for the middah of
ingratitude to infect the rest of human history.
HaRav Avraham Twerski shlit”a points out that “one of the sharpest reprimands made by Moshe Rabeinu to Klal Yisroel was that they were ingrates.” (Gemara Avodah Zara 5a) He then cites Harav Yitzchok Silberstein, who relates that someone once insulted the Chasam Sofer, who thought a bit and then said, “Ah! I remember! I could not understand why that person insulted me for no reason. Then I remembered that I had once done him a favor, and that is why he resents me.” Rav Twerski then gives an explanation for the Gemara (Yoma 9b) which states that the Second Bais HaMikdash was destroyed, even though the people were toiling in Torah, stringent in avodah, and busy with gemilus chasadim, because of the sinas chinam, baseless hatred. The obvious question, says Rav Twerski, is if they practiced gemilus chasadim, where was the sinas chinam? Keeping the concept that ingratitude has become an integral part of human nature, the baseless hatred came from the recipients of the chesed, who resented their benefactors! (HaModia 5/25/05, p. A91)
In fact, this concept affects every mitzvoh that we do. Chazal tell us that every mitzvoh which the Jewish nation in the desert accepted with joy, such as bris milah, became a pleasure for them to keep, even in later generations. We see that even the most hardened of our non-religious brothers and sisters still call the mohel right after the birth. On the other hand, every mitzvoh which Klal Yisroel accepted with sadness became difficult for them, forever. The classic example is that of forbidden relationships, which separated many heretofore permitted couples, including Amram and Yocheved, who were still alive at Matan Torah.
The lesson to learn is that the main impact of our every action and thought is not simply a matter of example. Rather, every moment of our lives is an opportunity to mold both ourselves and our descendants in the best possible way. The young man who averts his eyes when confronted with immodest sights (rather than taking even a momentary glance) may be keeping his yet-unborn granddaughter from falling into the spiritual chasms of the street. Furthermore, if one can make the kavanos of his mitzvos as pure as possible, he is implanting in them – and in himself – tremendous powers that can uplift for generations to come.
Undeniable Prophecy
In this week’s haftara, Hashem reveals to Ovadiah the future rise and fall of Edom. He says, “Even if you [Edom] raise [your nest] like an eagle or if you place your nest among the stars, I will bring you down from there – the word of HaShem.” (Ovadiah 1:4)
The Malbim says that we should take this posuk literally – Edom will indeed live among the stars, but HaShem is only allowing such a stunning feat in order to make his final fall that much greater.
HaRav Nachman Bulman zt”l pointed out that this navuah is being fulfilled in front of our very eyes; for the past forty years, the crown glory of America has been the NASA space program. Some will remember the “space race” with the USSR, and now China has entered the picture.
Is there a more clear proof of the power of prophecy? Ovadiah saw, and the Malbim explained, events that are unfolding today. In their times, when any heavier-than-air flight was a flight of fancy, who could have dreamed that people would fly, much less live, in space?