Divrei Vayeitzei
What a Ba'al haBayis Can Accomplish
At the beginning of this week’s parsha, Yaakov Avinu dreams about malachim. By the end of the parsha, however, malachim approach and greet him, and at the beginning of next week’s parsha, he orders malachim to serve as an advance party, announcing to Eisav his return. In other words, Yaakov rose from the level of having malachim so far above him that he can only access them in his dreams, to the point that he found himself actually above them -- a meteoric ascent.
How did Yaakov accomplish such a spiritual success? The answer comes with his message to Eisav: “I lived (“Garti”) with Lavan!” Rashi brings the famous Chazal, noting that the letters of “Garti” add up to 613. Yaakov implied to Eisav that “And in spite of my travails, I kept the mitzvos!” In Padan Aram, Yaakov went through one trial and tribulation after the next -- a tough job, a tougher boss, raising the kids, issues in marriage (with not just one wife, but four!), and so on. And by applying the principles he had learned -- both at home and at yeshiva -- he attained greatness.
When a young man leaves yeshiva or kollel to join the workforce, the yetzer hara gets to work as well -- on him. “See? You failed! You’re not a rav -- you’re just a ba’al habas! Look at you, getting your hands dirty with your work. Where‘s the ruchnius?” This week’s parsha is for ba’al habatim, to remind them that the “mundane” world is not so mundane, that in fact, by keeping faithful to the laws and concepts of the Torah, no matter what the situation, a person can grow and grow to incredible closeness to Hashem -- not in spite of the day-to-day life, but precisely, because of it. What an opportunity!
Effort
“And he [Yaakov] became frightened and said, “How awesome is this place! This is none other than the house of Hashem and this is the gateway of the heavens!” (28:17) The Gemara in Pesachim (88a) brings the verse (Yeshaya 2:3) which says, “Many peoples will go and say, Come, let us go up to the Mountain of Hashem, to the house of the G-d of Yaakov,” Asks the Gemara, G-d of Yaakov, but not of Avraham or Yitzchok? Avraham called that place a mountain, Yitzchok called it a field, but Yaakov called it a house.” Why is Yaakov’s perception of this place considered greatest?
HaRav Dovid Wenick shlit”a brings one explanation from HaRav Yonsaon Eyebeshitz zt”l. In Yaari Im Divshi (4:2:51), he notes that while all three Avos realized that this place was a porthole to Shamayim, that one who prayed here was as if he was praying directly before Hashem’s throne, Yaakov reached a level beyond that of his ancestors.
Still, what precisely did Yaakov accomplish? Perhaps this is the message. Just as a mountain is difficult, if not impossible, to ascend and stay even briefly (and living on top is normally out of the question), Avraham perceived the great holiness of this place as reserved for only the greatest individuals. At the Akeidah, he kept Ishmael and Eliezer at the bottom, while only he and Yitzchok ascended. (One of the rabbanan who reviewed this issue told me that he heard from HaRav Pesach Krohn shlit”a that another source for this concept is found in Tehillim (24:3) when Dovid asks, “Who may ascend the mountain of Hashem, and who may stand in the place of His sanctity?”) Even Ishmael’s descendants absorbed, but stretched this concept; they refuse to allow any non-adherent to their religion from entering the city which contains the object of their veneration.
Yitzchok called it an open field, which everyone can visit with no great effort, but no one stays there for long. Likewise, this place is attainable by everyone, but not in a constant way. Today, the religion of Esav, who corrupted his father’s ways, declares that all one needs to do to achieve “salvation” is to take a “leap of faith” in oso haish, and – presto! – he’s “born-again,” with all the trimmings.
Yaakov brought permanence. He called it a house; just as it takes effort to build and maintain a house (and the real work, making it into a truly Jewish home, comes after the construction), and everyone who tries can live permanently in a house; so also can this place be approached and utilized by all who make an ongoing effort, always striving to Hashem.
Hate
A casual reading of this week’s parshah might find Lavan to be a rather benign character. True, he does love money, and he does switch his daughters at the chuppah, but haven’t plenty of fathers-in-law done worse things? Later on, at the beginning of Parshas Ki Savo, the Torah introduces us to his true evil nature: while claiming that his pursuit of Yaakov and his family was only to kiss and hug his daughters and grandchildren, arami ovaid avi, underneath, he wanted to commit genocide.
There is nothing new under the sun, as this maaseh, from Rabbi Avie Gold shlit”a, Editor at Artscroll/Mesorah, reminds us.
A chassid who lived in New York visited his rebbe, crying bitterly. He had married a woman with a daughter from her previous marriage. He and his stepdaughter had never gotten along. Over time, the situation had deteriorated, to the point that the rebellious girl had become engaged to a local Italian boy. All efforts to bring her back had only driven her further away. The “wedding” loomed close – what could be done?
“Simple,” the rebbe said. “Make a l’chaim for him. Invite all your friends, drink with him, dance with him. Get him drunk.” An odd answer, thought the chassid, but he obeyed.
The "l’chaim" began well enough. Everyone made his best effort to be leibedik. As the bottles emptied, the dancing and singing began. Suddenly, the boy, who had been happily following (and drinking) along, looked around at the happy Jewish faces. His smile changed to a hateful sneer, and a long string of anti-Semitic slurs spewed out of his mouth. The festivities ground to an abrupt, silent halt. Shocked, the girl ran crying out of the room. The “engagement” was off.
Not long afterwards, she married a fine young frum man, and together they built a beautiful Yiddishe home.