"Sarah’s lifetime was one hundred years, twenty years, and seven years; the years of Sarah’s life." (23:1) Rashi there explains the seeming repetition at the end: "’The years of Sarah’s life’ were all equally good." The Slonimer Rav asks a pointed question about this parsha’s introduction. Chazal tell us that the very first word "Vayehi" implies bad times – yet all of Sarah’s years were called good? In fact, Sarah’s life was full of pain, from the many decades of frustrating childlessness, to the rigors of frequent travel, to being kidnapped twice, to the betrayal of Hagar. What sweetened the bitterness of her life?

The answer, says the Slonimer, is expressed in Tehillim (89:3): "Olam chesed yibaneh – a world will be built upon kindness." Like Avraham, Sarah was born into a broken, selfish world. Together, they turned the tides of history by utterly dedicating their entire lives to chesed – the ultimate emulation of Hashem.

Avraham and Sarah established for their descendants a cycle of chesed – midah-k’neged-midah, when we perform chesed in this world, Hashem in turn showers His chesed upon us. In fact, the Shlah HaKodesh (at the end of Gemara Pesachim) brings down that every Jew is obligated to perform at least one act of chesed, every day. If a day should pass when he does not do any act of kindness, that day is considered for him as if it never happened. How does this work? Says the Shlah: when a Jew does a chesed, he opens up a shefa, a flow of chesed from shamayim; when he does not, however, he closes that shefa.

By doing chesed, we can accomplish wonders, and when we make chesed a key part of our lives (thus making our lives so much richer and more meaningful), all our own pains can become manageable, as it happened by Sarah.

Based upon this concept, ideally, we should strive to transform ourselves into baalei chesed, who perform chesed as naturally as they breathe. This concept is also found in this week’s parsha, as a close friend related to me in the name of HaRav Moshe Feinstein:

In this week’s parsha we are introduced to the second of our Matriarchs, Rivka, destined to be the wife of Yitzchok Avinu and the mother of Yaakov Avinu. The Torah tells us, in great detail, how Avraham Avinu’s trusted servant Eliezer devised a fool-proof test to determine who from the maidens of Avraham’s hometown would be worthy to marry the holy Yitzchok and become the mother of the Jewish nation.

The test was one of chesed. The Jewish characteristic of chesed comes from our Avos and Imahos, and Eliezer knew that Yitzchok’s wife must possess, above all else, this special trait. So, the test was laid out. The girl who responded to Eliezer’s request for a drink by saying "Drink, sir, and I will also give your camels to drink" is the one destined by Hashem to marry Yitzchok. Eliezer immediately "discovered" Rivka, and the rest is history.

One problem, though: Rivka flunked the test! Eliezer conditioned true chesed on a girl’s immediate offer of water to him and his camels. That would be the only acceptable level of chesed worthy of the family of Avraham. But, as the Torah records, at first, Rivka only offered Eliezer to drink, not his camels! Only after Eliezer drank did Rivka offer to draw water for the camels. It seems like an afterthought, not the kind of ultimate chesed which Eliezer was seeking! So how did Rivka qualify?

Reb Moshe answers this question with a beautiful insight into true chesed and how it is practiced by real baalei chesed. Yes, Eliezer set the test as he did. He was looking for a three-year old girl who was willing to undertake near-super human acts of chesed by announcing that she would not only quench the thirst of a tired old traveler, but also satiate ten huge, water-guzzling camels -- a fantastic chesed, indeed. But Eliezer heard and saw in Rivka’s response an even higher level of kindness. Eliezer asked for water, and Rivka immediately agreed and gave him to drink. No big deal. Meanwhile, she saw the thirsty camels. Without any announcement or fanfare, she jumped into the next task, as if it was perfectly natural, nothing extraordinary. "I will now also give your camels," she said, and she just did it! So natural! Eliezer never expected to see that level of chesed outside of Avraham and Sarah’s home, so he didn’t test for that. He was looking only for a baalas chesed; instead he found Rivka, who was not only a baalas chesed, but also a girl for whom chesed was so natural that she performed it unassumingly and with no fanfare.

Those who have made chesed come naturally are a lesson to us all. We each have opportunities for chesed, at home, in shul, with friends and strangers. We must make acts of kindness a part of ourselves, so that they are performed naturally and without fanfare. While the beneficiaries of the chesed may be most appreciative, we must be gomlei chasodim as if it’s "no big deal," in the natural way of our Avos and Imahos.

In the fall of 5763, the Baltimore community was privileged to receive a visit from HaRav Shlomo Brevda, shlita, one of the great baalei mussar and machshava of our generation. During the course of one of his many talks, Rav Brevda gave insights into some of the curious and seemingly repetitive events in this week’s parsha, with a powerful message for us today.

We should not think that Avraham approached the Bnei Cheis with a spur-of-the-moment request for a burial plot for Sarah. Noting the course of events at the beginning of the parsha, Rav Brevda commented that Avraham Avinu had been planning this moment for years. He knew the importance of the Cave of Machpela. (Adam and Chava had already been interred in it). He also understood the nature of the Bnei Cheis., the owners of the cave. They were an utterly evil, depraved, and greedy people, who opposed Avraham and everything that he stood for. They certainly did not want Avraham to set up any permanent presence among them. Unless he somehow convinced them to agree to a complete and final transaction, they would have no qualms about "selling" him the cave, then later finding some excuse to seize it back and disinter Sarah.

However, the Bnei Cheis’s twisted religion did make one demand upon them: the immediate burial of dead people. Thus, when Avraham came to them and proceeded to begin very straightforward business negotiations, they responded by demanding to Avraham that he bury Sarah (no less than three times: in 23:6,11, and 15), In fact, the sight of an unburied body (and Avraham’s fabulous wealth) displayed in front of them brought them to shouting and losing their own trains of thought (as hinted by the words, "vaya’anu" and "vaya’an," according to Rav Brevda) and gave Avraham an edge.

Hidden in the give-and-take, however, is also Avraham’s primary strategy. His first bow "to" the Bnei Cheis (in 23:7) was a courtesy to them; his second, "before" them, (23:12) was actually to HaShem, as a clandestine way of thanking Him for giving success to his plan to acquire the cave in a way that it could never be disputed. Not only had Avraham prayed for success before he met the Bnei Cheis, but he was still in that state of prayer, while talking with them!

Later in the parsha, we see that Eliezer learned this technique from his master. When he arrived in Padan Aram to find a wife for Yitzchok, he did not run around, trying to find Avraham’s relatives. Instead, he prayed to HaShem to send him an unmistakable sign: that the right girl for Yitzchok should offer and deliver water to him and his camels, before sundown. The fact that his prayer was uttered "at evening time" (24:11) gave the girl practically no time to accomplish this task, making the sign miraculous, clear, and unmistakable. After Rivka arrived and accomplished this superhuman feat, Eliezer immediately bowed to HaShem and offered blessings and thanks (24:26-27), just as his master Avraham had done in Chevron.

In fact, Rav Brevda noted, Eliezer learned the power of prayer so well from Avraham that when his soul was reincarnated and returned to this world, he continued to pray. Who had Eliezer’s neshamah? First was Kalev ben Yifuneh, the only spy who prayed (at the Cave of Machpela!) to give an honest report to the Jewish people about the land of Israel. Then he came back as Beniyahu ben Yehoyada, Dovid HaMelech’s trusted servant. Late in his life, Dovid ordered Beniyahu, Nosson haNavi, and Tzaddok Cohen Gadol to publicly declare Shlomo as king (and thereby quell the rebellion of Adoniyahu), Just before they left Dovid’s chambers to carry out their king’s command, Beniyahu made sure to stop and utter a prayer for the mission’s success. (Kings 1:1:36-37) Eliezer has come back at least three more times, as the authors of Tomer Devorah, Reishis Chochmah; and Ben Ish Chai, works that dazzle us with their brilliant blend of Torah and avodah.

Today, said Rav Brevda, we live in a time of emergency, certainly ikvasa d’Meshichasa, the end of days. Just as one behaves differently when sirens are ringing, so must we. Prayer must become an integral part of our daily lives. Aside from the set tefillos, we must also pray during our mundane activities, as well.

A woman once called Rav Brevda, looking for spiritual guidance. He told her, "Every time you need any help, take out a Tehillim and pray to Hashem. You will see miracles."

And so it was. The first morning, her air conditioner, a huge old wall unit, literally blew up. She reached for the Tehillim and began to pray. Suddenly, the doorbell rang. It was a huge, burly man, who said, "Excuse me, Ma’am. I’m looking to install central air at so-and-so address, but I’m lost." She gave him directions, then asked, "As long as you’re here, could you please look at my unit?" He went over to it and said, "Lady, you’re in luck! At my first job this morning, I put in a new system, took out their machine, and put it in my truck. It still works, and it’s the exact same model as your broken one. I’ll take out this one and put that one in, and because you’re such a nice lady, I won’t charge."

Later that day, one of her children fell down and hurt himself. Out came the Tehillim, and again, the doorbell rang. This time it was an old friend, someone she hadn’t seen in years (but who happened to be in her neighborhood that day), a registered nurse. A day at the emergency room turned into a five-minute boo-boo.

Some years later, this woman called Rav Brevda. Now she was into shidduchim for her children. "Are you still saying Tehillim?" Rav Brevda asked her. "Rabbi," she joyfully answered, "we are living with Tehillim."

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